It's a new year at Mackenzie, and there's new fish to fry. From stacked hallways to feral mascots, The Flounder's got you covered with real, important news about the school you know and love.
Read The Flounder because you are a successful student, a leader in your industry, and a respected community member. Stay informed about the local school news.
Jack joined the Flounder because his family politely told him to “do something for once in his life”. He enjoys trying to convince people of his potential daily.
Om is a co-president of the Flounder. When celebrating his greatest accomplishments, he does a victory dance, shouts “LET’S GOOO”, and eats chips. He does this every new Flounder issue. Either he is a total failure, or the Flounder is amazing – only time will tell.
Celeste is a vice-president of the Flounder. She likes cats, but dislikes the fact that she can’t train them to kill ants. In her experience, they won’t even kill mice; they just play with them. So unfortunate, but so cute.
Justin is a vice-president of the Flounder. He is only 2 letters away from writing this bio.
Justin is a writer at the Flounder. He is only 2 letters away from becoming a VP.
After destroying his English mark, Andrey decided to join the Flounder to improve his skills by writing about pressing world issues such as his writing skills.
Daniel is a writer for the Flounder because he thinks he’s funny. He enjoys making people laugh, but unfortunately has no way of knowing how hard they laugh at his writing.
This Eric is a writer. He likes calisthenics and tells himself that exercise prolongs his meaningless existence. Well, he may not have actually said “meaningless”, but his life is definitely worthless.
Kevin is an avid collector of his broken hopes and dreams. By the end of this year, he expects to have enough to auction off on eBay. With the profits, he is eager to purchase a kilogram tub of cheese balls from Costco.
His name is Noam. He writes for the Flounder. We keep the rest of his information on a need to know basis.
Joining halfway into the school year, Vansh is The Flounder’s newest writer. He joined with the hopes of countering fake news media at Mackenzie. As to avoid running the risk of hearing fake news, he can often be heard shouting “La la la la” while cupping his ears and running away with his eyes shut. He also has a tendency of running into walls.
William, the 7th best writer in the Flounder, was asked about his views on abortion. He responded with, “I don’t know anything about that, but what we really should be debating is the rising prices of helium. That’s where the real stonks are.” He is truly a man of sage wisdom on the matter.
Fatma is an illustrator. When asked whether she wanted to comment about the state of socioeconomic policies within the militarized zones of Armenia, Fatma responded “Heck ya!”
Jenny's favourite sport is ultimate frisbee. She especially loves the potential for decapitations. Off with their heads!
Lois has spent the first 80% of quarantine looking forward to English, then spent the last 20% failing to pass said subject. Other than lamenting over her failing academics and whipping up the occasional child illustration, she uses her deplorable hobby for good and works as an illustrator at The Flounder.
Tracy is an illustrator. Her favourite sport is skating, in which she holds multiple community rink records. Standing heads above the competition, she can easily out-speed the average 5 year old.
Di was once asked what he likes to do while bored. He answered, “I play music to avoid the existential crisis regarding the thought that my one short and painful life will eventually result in nothing and that everything I do now will all decay away in the hands of the flow of time within the vast and unforgiving universe.” He likes to smile.
This Eric is an editor. He loves mushrooms. However, he insists that he only loves ordinary mushrooms. The mushrooms he consumes are so extra ordinary that some claim they’re magical. He loves mushrooms, because they dull the pain.
Roseanna is an editor. She wishes she could edit out all the dumb things she has done in her life instead of waking up at 1 am to cringe about them. Like that time, when she was a tiny kid and walked around the mall with closed eyes and hugged her mom. Except it wasn't her mom. Cringe.
Jacob is an illustrator and layout organizer for the Flounder. He dreams of one day becoming a professional soccer player, but unfortunately he is not from Brazil. He'll probably just go into computer science.
Sophia’s favourite season is Spring. The rain embodies her tears from doing university applications.
Josh is a member of the Flounder’s website development team. His favourite vacation spot is Curacao. Josh is clearly a fan of Curacao’s wonderful oceans, beaches, and 1969 uprising against the oil industry.
Paul is a member of the Flounder’s website development team. Some of the aspects of coding he dislikes include reading documentation and especially writing comments. When asked why, he refused to comment.
Theodore is a member of the Flounder’s website development team. He looks up to PSY as his role model, since PSY became popular globally and ran a very ethical record label despite not being conventionally attractive, rising to fame at 35 (typically the end of a music career), and being a bit thicc. Being able to accomplish these feats despite the circumstances serves as a continuous inspiration to Theo.
Diana is the Flounder's social media manager. Diana spends a lot of time on Typeracer. She started this bio 20 seconds before it was due. She submitted on time.