Zroom Approves of Move to Remote Learning

"The Ministry of Education truly cares about its students."
By: Konflik O. Intressed

TORONTO, ON - This morning, health officials at the communication technology company Zroom held a press conference in response to the Ministry of Education’s decision to move all students to remote learning. During the press conference, the company lauded the government’s decision and reaffirmed its commitment to supporting online learners.

“We are pleased to see the government put the health and safety of students first after seeing the sharp rise in COVID cases recently,” stated Dr. Di Seet, Zroom’s Chief Health and Safety Officer. “The Ministry of Education truly cares about its students.”

“Together, we will get through this. Zroom will always be committed to connecting students and teachers during this challenging time…” declared Marke Zucckers, Chief Online Learning Officer at Zroom. “…for a low annual fee of $119.99 per teacher.”

However, some critics, such as the mental health advocates at the furniture retail company IKEYAH, have raised concerns about the decision to move to remote learning.

“Our students have already suffered through so much this year due to remote learning. There are not enough mental health resources to meet the demand from youth, and I fear that this drastic move by the government will put even more strain on the system,” said Geoff Bayzose, IKEYAH’s Chief Mental Health and Wellness Officer. “The best thing we can do for students is to get them back into their IKEYAH-furnished classrooms. New studies from our Department of Unbiased Research even show that our deluxe steel blackboards have a calming effect on developing minds.”

On a completely unrelated note, Zroom shares on the NASCAQ rallied to another all-time high shortly after the ministry’s decision.