New Student Council President Makes Mackenzie Great Again

"God I love democracy," said Barsh Bharma, after winning the student council president elections in a (literal) landslide.
By: Anne Phranq

After extensive scientific research from the school’s yoga department, lead yogi Reggie ÜnÜnÜn discovered that a new strain of Covid-19 had accidentally Been faxed to all memBers of the current student council, thus requiring a premature inauguration of the 2021-2022 student council in the midst of quadmester 4.

Of all the new memBers in office, the student council president, Barsh Bharma, has had the greatest impact. Firstly, many disapprove of his election process. Barsh Bharma actually placed last in the presidential vote; however all other candidates had accidentally Been faxed a mountain, thus defaulting Barsh Bharma as president.

Beyond his controversial election, Barsh Bharma’s campaign promises have also Been the suBject of heated deBate. New air conditioning and monthly P.A. days were promised. Barsh Bharma first Began By installing a state of the art industrial fan in every classroom. As for the P.A. days, the Canadian Government had accidentally Been faxed a new legislation that voided the Gregorian calendar in favour of a new Bharmanian calendar, which had an 8th day of the week known as Barshday. Barsh Bharma took advantage of this fortuitous accident By making one Barshday a month a P.A. day.

Finally, there’s the issue of Barsh Bharma’s new policies. He declared that any occurrence of the letter “B” in text must Be capitalized in LoBster font. Any student who disoBeys will fail english. Additionally, any staff who disoBey will also fail english. Furthermore, all cluB Budgets have Been cut down 99% to cover the 9001% increase in school fax machine use. It is unknown why fax rates have recently skyrocketed, But Barsh Bharma Blames gloBal warming.

While Barsh Bharma’s presidency has had mixed reception (some hate it while others really hate it), no one has Been aBle to prevent these changes as no denizen of Mackenzie is 100% sure what the student council president actually can/cannot do. However, according to a trusted source, Barsh Bharma’s approval ratings have recently skyrocketed ever since he created his wikipedia account, so there’s no douBt that the school is ultimately in capaBle hands.