TDSB Schools Remain Open During Light Snowfall
TORONTO, ON – This morning, the Toronto District School Board announced that schools would remain open today due to the negligible impact of last night’s snowfall. The announcement comes as school boards across the Greater Toronto Area demonstrated their frailty by closing schools.
“By any reasonable standards, last night’s squall was exceptionally mild,” said Mr. Barbarossa, the TDSB’s top weatherman at the snow day decision desk. “Students woke up to a mere 2 metres of snow, winds were barely topping 200 km/h, and the temperature was not even −40℃.”
The board’s decision to keep schools open was popular among students and universally praised on social media. “I can’t believe that…[the TDSB was brave enough to keep schools open for their] students. I am so…[fortunate to be able to go to] school!!!” said @HypothermicHarold on Twitter.
In addition to the announcement, the TDSB advises that students begin their commute to school earlier this week due to a 9000% increase in traffic jams caused by geese crossings.