Webcams Suspiciously Breaking All Across Mackenzie
Toronto, ON – It was the eve of Monday, January 18th. The administration emailed all William Lyon Mackenzie students, ordering that webcams be kept on through their virtual classes. Completely coincidentally, at least so we are told, webcams have been breaking left and right, and almost every single student’s webcam has broken. Now, we should not have to tell you that this is one of the most suspicious moves we’ve seen by administration since the taco crisis of ‘92. As the only good news source of Mackenzie, it was our duty to investigate.
Fact: January 18th - Administration sent emails asking for webcams to be active
Fact: January 19th - 99% of webcams stop working
First, to more clearly visualize the evidence, we ran a supercomputer simulation of the data, and the results are below so that the public can understand the situation at hand.
The data proves that this situation is too damning to be a coincidence. We believe a massive conspiracy is going on right in front of our very eyes.
We knew that BIG TECH had to be involved, so we asked the key question: What do they have to gain from remotely hacking and destroying almost every webcam in the school? Was it money, power, both, or neither? This is something that we had to figure out.
We went undercover, from factories to product design to shipping. We saw it all. However, everything seemed surprisingly, even suspiciously, normal. In addition, all of the tested webcams worked perfectly fine, so we knew they had a mole in The Flounder.
We also discovered that almost every single teacher’s webcam worked. After countless hours of investigating, we could finally reach a conclusion to the investigation. We believe that this is a massive school-wide deep state prank on students. And this is not the first time that teachers have pranked students by telling them to do the impossible. For example, back in 2020, students were forced to use Bongo. We all know the devastating consequences of that. Believe it or not, this is the truth. While it may be ghastly, it is up to us at The Flounder to provide you with accurate information when all other school newspapers shy away.