TDSB Wins First Ever Nobel Peace Prize For an Error Page

Improving our world one step at a time
By: Fouroh Fore

On October 23 2020, the TDSB was awarded the very prestigious Nobel Peace Prize for their multicultural website, which can be understood in every language. It is a huge achievement for the board and has even greater benefits to the multicultural student body of the TDSB.

When our reporters asked the TDSB website development team what brought them to this great achievement, they replied, “We owe it all to the board, and the resources that they provide.” The board said that it is a simple balance of quantity over quality. “It is much more effective to give the developers 100 broken 30 year old computers than 10 functioning computers to develop it.” What profound words.

When asked what changes to the website they’ll make in the future, the TDSB said that they are working hard and long hours on replacing the frowny face emoji with a small brick breaker game. This will remain their top priority for an estimated 2.5 years, but, of course, this is a very optimistic estimate.

Right now though, the development team is just celebrating this accomplishment and they are thrilled with how well their error page works. The TDSB says the prize money will go towards hiring a personal attendance runner and reminder for each teacher, as well as hiring professionals to fumigate, pressure wash, bathe in acid, and heat in an oven, our cafeteria’s microwave so that it will be clean enough to meet (North Korean) safety standards by next year, when it is in use again.

Overall the TDSB is very happy with the way their website has worked, and will continue to use it due to it working very reliably, and performing exactly as poorly every time.