Students Want School Uniforms For Custodial Strike

By: Ida Sheller
Two students enjoying life in the potential uniform.

A school custodian strike may occur in the near future. Schools around North York have made preparations by discouraging littering and encouraging cleanliness. However, the student body at Mackenzie has started petitioning for what students believe is a simpler solution to potential sanitation issues.

“Students were not prepared for the last strike. Garbage was littered everywhere and the school was in chaos all week,” says the main advocate for the new uniform.

The “Level A Hazmat Suit” was proposed by an anonymous student as a full replacement for all littering prevention. The suggested suit has a retail price of $2,224.99 and is duly fit for protection against most dangerous chemical substances, including used gym socks and leftover food in the halls.

“I had a spare and needed to share the hallway with used yogurt containers and a moldy pastrami sandwich,” commented one frustrated student, who was rumored to have contracted the plague shortly after.

For many students, changing their habits is an undesirable option, while accepting the mess and adapting to it is preferred. Some teachers attribute this decision to laziness, yet students are insisting that it is simply the most efficient solution to the litter problem.

However, prospects are not looking good for the new uniform as it has been found to not be in accordance with the student dress code.